So you want to be my friend?

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue and cheek look at my life.*

Ah, don't you love how the social networks like Facebook and Twitter let you find people?  And yes, they can find you too.  Even when you don't want to be found. 

I'm just going to lay it out here:  I am more likely to accept a friend request from you on Facebook if I know NOTHING about you.  I don't know that you're a stalker or self-obsessed Farmville player or talk drivel on incessantly about nothing.  It's the friend requests from people I know that can stay in limbo for awhile.  In fact, if I have known you a long time, consider yourself unusual that I am friends with you on Facebook.

Case in point:

I was picked on in school.  I was a smart kid from a farm.  Curve buster of sorts.  And farm kids didn't have the fanciest clothes, shoes, or toys either.  I might as well as had a big bullseye on my back with KICK ME in the middle.  (Wait, I might have at some point.)  So, if you're one of those people that took great pleasure in ruining days of my childhood, you might ought to take pause before you try to friend me...or at least add a really nice note to your request.  "Hey, I know it's been awhile, and I was a self-absorbed, b*tch in the making in school and completely lived my life to make every day of third grade hell for you, but I would like to make amends and be your friend now." 

Yeah, right.  I have waited thirty years for this moment.

IGNORE

Yeah, that was good.  (and much cheaper than therapy)

My mother is on Facebook

Armageddon. End of the world.  It's here. I know this because....

My mother is on Facebook. 

Is this really necessary? I don't frequent AARP meetings. I don't drive in the slow lane. I don't wear pants with an elastic waistband. Can't I have Facebook? It's like having your mom showing up at a party with you and your friends.  My god, it's like being in high school all over again.


Does anyone else have this problem?