Monkeys and chaos

Sometimes my kids are up and active when I'm trying to make jewelry (as opposed to how I used to do it -- when they were napping -- but those days are seemingly long gone). I do my best to keep them occupied with something productive while also keeping an eagle eye on them. If you're a parent, you know how quickly things can go from perfect to pandemonium in a wee couple of minutes.

In my life, it happens when I'm on the phone.

Meet my youngest child.

A serious flirt.

And mischief maker.

And he eats....A LOT. In fact, if you ask him, he will tell you his name is Chunky Monkey.

His father and I are completely prepared to get the phone call from school one day that he has run his underwear up a flagpole.

(And is using his charm and good looks to get out of having to scrub the entire cafeteria floor as his punishment.)










Why am I worried about such things at such a young and sweet and tender age? Because of what he can do with a couple of markers in just three minutes.

Who knew that in the time it takes to take a phone order from a customer that you can paint your hands with a marker.

And if that wasn't enough, he wanted to show me his artistic talent and could use the complimentary color orange on his arms to set off the color purple on his hands. (If you're trying to calculate a score for this masterpiece, using two colors in under three minutes does increase the difficulty factor by 0.3).

So if you ever call to ask a question, place an order, or just otherwise chit-chat, remind me to check on Chunky Monkey and make sure I have all marking elements (including my collection of 64 different colors of Sharpies) in my possession.

(By the way, I can't wait to get a note from school today asking me to keep my child home until his fungus has resolved.)

Go the F**k to sleep

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue in cheek look at my life.*

Have you heard anything about this book?  The first I heard of it was about a month and a half ago when it was mentioned in the American Public Media Marketplace podcast I was listening to that day.  Host Kai Ryssdal ended that day's podcast by reading an excerpt of the book.

I SCREAMED laughing.  Out loud.  Hard.  Belly laugh.  Like the kind that anyone near you wonders if you're having a seizure and in need of medical attention or if you just blew a pop tart out through your nose.

Does that make me a bad parent?  Apparently, there is a subset of the parenting world that thinks so.

A little more background on the book here:  it's designed like a children's book -- illustrations, short, rhyming sentences, big print.  But of course, it's only meant to be read by the adults.  I bought a copy for hubby for Father's Day.  We both laughed so hard.  Really hard.  In fact, he thought it was a great gift.

Have I ever thought those exact words?  Does that mean that I would ever say that to them out loud?  No is the answer on both counts.  But that doesn't mean I haven't thought to myself on more than one occasion, "are you really sure you need to be awake right now???!!!???"

So for those of you parents that think this book is a production of the antichrist, may I congratulate you for being PERFECT.  As for me, I'll keep nurturing my warped sense of humor.

Since when did you need a bank loan to go to the movies?

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue in cheek look at my life.*

I had the opportunity to visit with family this week.  They don't live close, and I wanted to make sure my peeps had the chance to do some fun things with their older cousin.  All four of them LOVED the first "Cars" movie.  So when my sister found out we were going to be there when "Cars 2" was hitting the theater, she thought it would be a good time to take all of them to see it.

Little did I know that prices had gone up since the last time since I went to the movies.

If you would have told me before I went that I would pay the price of a really nice pair of shoes for two adults and three children for tickets, drinks and popcorn I would have said that you were smoking crack.  Apparently crack has gotten expensive.  All that came to just under $80.

How is a family of five supposed to do that on a regular basis??  Seriously, Hollywood.  While my boys loved the experience, next time, we'll just wait for the DVD.

Gooey chocolate brownie recipe

Hubby, peeps and I have been spending a couple of days with family.  My sister was doing dinner for all of us last night and I happened to walk in while she was making dessert.

I saw this lying there and thought....


Oh, this looks like it could be a good blog post.  










 
Super gooey batter, with chocolate chunks.  Looks good enough to eat doesn't cover it.  Shouldn't that be a skin conditioning wrap or something?



















In the pan it goes.  (Don't forget to spray first, but I find the aluminum foil optional -- I use a silicone pan.)

The finished product.  (and don't they look even more delish next to the hydrangeas?)




























My sister was kind enough to share the recipe.  Enjoy!


1/3 c dutch processed cocoa
1 1/2 tsp instant espresso (optional)
1/2 c plus 2 tbsp boiling water
2 oz unsweetened chocolate, finely chopped
4 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1/2 c plus 2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/2 c sugar
1 3/4 c unbleached all purpose flour
3/4 tsp table salt
6 oz bittersweet chocolate, cut into 1/2 inch pieces


1.  Adjust over rack to lowest position and heat to 350.  Push foil into a baking pan, pushing it into all corners and crevices.  Spray with non-stick cooking spray.
2.  Whisk cocoa, espresso, and boiling water in a large bowl until smooth.  Add unsweetened chocolate and whisk until melted.  Whisk in melter butter and oil  (don't worry if it looks curdled).  Add eggs, yolks, and vanilla.  Continue to whisk.
3.  Whisk in sugar.  Add flour and salt and mix with rubber spatula until combined.  Fold in chocolate pieces.
4.  Scrape batter into pan and bake until inserted toothpick comes out clean (or with a few crumbs).   Allow to cool 1 1/2 hours.
5.  Use foil to lift brownies out of pan.  Allow to cool another 1 hour.  Cut into squares and serve.

Is it okay to bring uninvited kids to a party?

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue in cheek look at my life.*

Warning, this is another of a "not really a rant" posting.  This one is somewhere between an etiquette concern and overreaction to how a party invitation was addressed.  Please comment.  Seriously.

I took my oldest two peeps to a birthday party this past weekend at a kids recreation center.  The birthday invitation came with the oldest two peeps name on it, not my youngest peep.  My older two peeps are in the same class in preschool; the invitation was for everyone in the class.  I had no expectations that the youngest peep would be on the invitation.

I got a gift to take and the older peeps were excited to go.  I lined up a babysitter for the youngest peep.

I was a bit surprised when I got to the party.

Their classmates were there, along with some of their classmates' siblings.  Now I don't know the full story; maybe the other siblings were on the invitation.  Maybe those families are all good friends and were not.  (not crying here -- I'm a big girl.)  Personally, I just wasn't going to bring my child to a party he wasn't specifically invited to.  I'm sure the family hosting the party had to pay on a per person basis for everyone in attendance and I just didn't think it was appropriate to save me the cost of a babysitter and bring baby peep.

Am I overreacting?  Do you ever ask to bring the other child?  Do you ask and offer to pay the difference?  Or do you just assume it's okay to bring extras?

Moms can never be off duty EVER

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue in cheek look at my life.*

Let me bring you up to speed:  I have 3 boys, all aged four and under.  It can get a little crazy here.  A big ninety-eight percent of the time, if I'm lucky enough to get ALL of them to take a nap at the same time, I get to work uniterrupted in the studio.  I'm either pouring resin, or I'm making phone calls:  both things that I don't need little people distractions for.  The exception to this is Saturdays.  Sometimes I work on Saturdays, sometimes I don't.  Mentally for me, it's my day off.  I might get caught up on my magazines, see what the DVR has recorded for me this week, or ever so infrequently,


I take a nap.

Last Saturday was one of the those days.  Two of the three peeps were already worn out.  It was a really, really nice day here -- moderate temperatures and little humidity.  It was also really, really quiet.

Yeah, let's go for it.

Peeps one and three were down.  Peep two seemed tired, but was playing with his cars.  He assured me he was going to nap too, eventually.

So, comfy jammies and a fluffly pillow was all I needed to get started.  Sometime a few minutes later, the phone rang.  My first thought, "I can't believe I forgot to take the phone off the hook."  When I didn't answer, and the caller immediately called back, my next thought was, "Sorry mom, whatever it is, it can wait."

Apparently not.

A few minutes later (not really sure of the exact time here because I was doing everything possible not to open my eyes), there is a BAM BAM BAM at the front door.  "Oh, like now what??  I just want some quiet time.  In fact I've been really bad today and need a time out."

I put on my fluffy pink robe and head to the door.  I open it and stare at the two sheriff's deputies who were wondering why I looked like I was a mom on a mid afternoon bender.

"Ma'am, are you okay?"

With one of the slow blinks (you know, the ones where you take an extra .4 milliseconds to allow you that extra time to think), I answered, "Yes....."  I'm looking past them while they're asking, expecting to see one of my neighbor's houses has exploded or is in the middle of a hostage situation.

"Ma'am, someone here called 911 and hung up."

Once again, blank stare, while I'm thinking to myself, thanks kids, I didn't really need that afternoon off.

"Ma'am are you alone?"

"No, I have 3 kids with me."

"Ma'am, did you hear the phone ring?  No one answered when we called back, TWICE."

By this time, I'm a little punchy.  "Do you answer every phone call that comes to your house??"

Whoops, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"We need to speak to the child who made the call."  Actually, this turned out to be a good thing.  Deputies in the their cars with flashing lights can be quite a motivator for a four year old to never call 911 again.


They left, last peep took a nap, and I went back to work in the studio.  That will teach me to take a day off.

What's up with this generation???

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series,  tongue in cheek look at my life.*

Before I get started, a few disclaimers:

1. Type A people call me Type B.  The vice versa also happens.
2. I have kids, therefore I am officially "old".
3. I never do anything half baked, especially when there is money involved.

Now, on with the story.

We are losing our babysitter that we have had for the past year.  Any of you with children can relate to the fact that sometimes it's a fine line between leaving your kids with another young adult versus a pack of wolves.  When you find a babysitter you like, (at least I) try to do everything to keep her.

Ours is graduating.  (Maybe I should go with one that can't pass her classes.)

Ah, I forgot how much fun it is to look for a new one.  Here's a few of the recent adventures:

Wow, I got a TXT for an interview.  MayB I can watch the kids this way 2!!  LOL

• Sure, my kids met you at my neighbors house and you hit it off.  Yeah, let's try this Thursday.  And I don't mind AT ALL if you come 45 minutes late, don't call to let me know, then tell me you have to leave early.  I'm only doing this as a favor to you.
• Yes, I am looking for a babysitter.  No I don't mind sharing with you how much I'm paying and how many hours you can expect if you don't mind showing a little interest in my kids first.
• I know you like to text and all, but can you actually answer calls with that phone?  I'm running out of character spaces to set up an interview with you.

In trying to find another one, I suppose one can liken it to dating.  Find one that's not offensive, no major behavioral issues and can pass a drug test.  Wait, I forgot about driving records.  Drat.

Oh yeah, it happens in "three's"

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue in cheek look at my life.

Thank goodness a new day is a "do-over".

Yesterday didn't go so hot.

Bounced a check.  Yeah.  Doesn't help to pay stuff online if you don't write it down.

Babysitter didn't show up.  Not cool.  I wasn't home and hubby had to leave to go to work.  Thank goodness I could drive home at 182 MPH and didn't get caught.

Entered a contest to win a Blackberry Playbook (oh yeah, THE Blackberry Playbook) and found out I WON!!  That is, until the contest administrator found out I'm from Florida.  Not eligible.  Must be Flor-i-duh.

I so need a do-over.

Valentine's Day, measles, and why I almost went postal

I don't know what it was like when you were a kid, but when I was school, Valentine's Day was about cards and cupcakes.  Maybe a little bit of candy, but overall a day of showing that you could write your classmates names on the outside of tiny envelopes.  My oh my, how things have changed.

My oldest two peeps aren't even four yet, but Valentine's Day is a huge production.  As we learned last year, cards simply aren't good enough anymore.  There must be a piece of candy, crayon, or keys to a new car attached to the card as well.  Giving a card without a small gift attached must be considered "gauche", which is the only reason I have for what one parent was so kind to give with her child's cards.

First, the disclaimer.  Yes, I was BAD MOMMY for not going through the bag to see what they brought home.  My bad, and I have paid for it.  

You see one parent thought it was a great idea to give these:

Yes, STAMPS.  With that red ink that will be living with the cockroaches after we nuke everyone off the planet.  Imagine my surprise when my kids came out looking like they had a serious skin condition that made having the measles look like a day in the park.  (And by the way, it was on their face too.  My twins looked like something that belonged in the circus.)

This was one of my boys after a thorough scrubbing that also served as the equivalent of a spa approved sandblasting.  They went to school the next day looking like this and I was only so grateful to find out the CDC wasn't called to investigate the mysterious blotches.







After scrubbing them off, I had several mini strokes as I walked from room to room to find out what else had been violated.  It was as if street artist Banksy had been in my house, yet the art was worth zilch.  (Sorry folks, the brain strokes were keeping me from seeing straight enough to get any pictures of the defiled house contents.)  I'm convinced that if I drove to the offending parent's house and stabbed her senseless with a dull knife, I know I would have been found not guilty as long as there was one mom on the jury.

At least with the help of my handy dandy, super solvent, remove the paint off your car, but don't use it on your hair "Aqua Net", I was able to get it rubbed out of the carpet enough so now it actually looks like part of the design.

Oh yeah, here's what I learned:

• Trust, but verify.
• Some parents don't have enough of the common sense part of the brain to function properly.
• Aqua Net is still one of my best friends

Slacker Mom Saturday

Being a parent is the full time job.  I just try to fit everything else in.  I had finished up all my orders from the Orlando ACRE show this week, with the exception of one.  It was my biggest order, and I knew it was going to take a bit of time.  Unfortunately, my oldest two are outgrowing the nap (a.k.a. mommy time) and didn't let me get much accomplished.  I needed to get my groove on, so come Saturday morning, I turned into slacker mom.

"Who wants to watch a movie?"

They were cheering and I was giddy at the idea of gettin' my groove on for more than 15 minutes this time.  In an unbiased as possible self-assessment, I'm somewhere between "anti-TV nazi" mom and "meet my babysitter, Miss Sony 32 inch".  I'm convinced that too much of the "crack box" will melt their brains.  I just don't know where that line is and don't want to pay for the therapy sessions they're going to need later (at least not for that anyway).

The good news:  I got work done and they got to watch one and a half of their favorite DVD's.  Good thing I can go back to being a better parent tomorrow.

The real me

One of my very good friends (who shall remain nameless), called me very recently.  She explained that she had been reading my blog recently.  The conversation went something like this:

"I like reading your blog to find out what's going on, but that's not you."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's me.  Might be one of my other personalities, but it's me."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I mean you're funny, crass, brutally honest, moderately opinionated and always full of wit.  You don't do that on your blog."

"I know, I talk jewelry making on my blog."

"Why don't you throw in some of the other stuff."

"Okay......  You really think people want to read that?"

"Why do you think I call you?"

All right people, here goes.  It's me.  Uncensored.  Uninhibited.  Sleep deprived and looking for my next good wine buy.  Oh yeah, I also make resin jewelry, raise three boys, have a house full of furry animals and hubby gets what's leftover.  (Yes, you should feel sorry for him.)

Visiting the Santa Fe College teaching zoo

So now that the weather in Florida has finally cooled off enough that it's bearable to be outside, I have been looking for activities to do with my boys outside.  It had been awhile since we had been to the Santa Fe College teaching zoo, so I decided to take them over for a tour.

Squirrel monkey

First of all, while it's a zoo, it's not a zoo in the traditional sense.  It's a place for Santa Fe College students to learn zoo keeper skills.  You don't go walk through it like you might other zoos.  Instead, you go with a tour guide, who is one of the students.  The zoo really isn't set up with walkways and such to allow people to just go willy nilly wherever they want. 

Galapogos tortoise enjoying his lunch of leaves

The zoo has a nice collection of small animals:  monkeys, birds, snakes, alligators, bald eagles, waterfowl.  There are also some rheas, llamas and a few deer.  The tour lasts about 1 1/4 hours, which was just right for a few boys all under the age of four.  A word of caution though for moms, it's also not a stroller friendly zoo.  If you're not prepared to walk, I would tell you not to go, or in my case, be prepared to carry somebody.

The admission is very reasonable and my boys were asking to go back.  Certainly a welcome outdoor activity now that fall has finally arrived in Florida.  If you think you might want to go, there is a list of Santa Fe College Zoo frequently asked questions that should give you the answers you need.

A day in the life of an art jewelry maker

I don't really know how typical my day is compared to other people.  I'm sure for moms out there that are trying to balance a career and family life, much of what I say here will sound familiar.  I get questions form art enthusiasts and patrons just how I manage to get done what I do.  Here is my typical day:

Up between 5 AM and 6 AM.  With any luck, my kids aren't up yet.  If I manage to get to bed at a decent hour the night before, it's closer to 5 AM.  My list of things to get done in the morning before 7 AM is:

• Read and respond to emails
• Read my google alerts
• Read the blogs I follow
• Package orders and prepare them for mailing (to hand to hubby to mail on his way to work)
• Post updates and make changes to my jewelry gallery website, KMS Designs
• Write blog posts for this blog and my other jewelry blog, Handmade Resin Jewelry
• Use Hoot Suite to get my tweets ready for the day.  (I like to tweet live, but when I find good articles, I like to schedule them to go out all during the day instead of one big lump.)

About midday, while my kids are napping, I used to pour resin.  Now that my oldest two (three and a half year old twin boys) are outgrowing the need for a nap, I don't attempt it.  Since once it's mixed, the resin is "use it or lose it", I can't be distracted.  Instead, I work on projects that I can start and stop as needed.  This is what I attempt to accomplish:

• Seal papers for resin
• Photograph jewelry (weather permitting)
• Upload new pictures to my Facebook and Flickr pages.
• Prepare metal pieces and settings to have resin included in them later

After my kids are in bed (about 9 PM or so during the summer), I get back to work.  I'm up until 10 PM or possibly as late as midnight.  The later I go to bed, the later I start the next morning (although it's not really sleeping in...)

• Pour resin
• Sand, polish and drill resin pieces as needed
• Assemble finished resin jewelry components
• Make website and blog updates

Of course this all isn't set in stone, but it is a good guideline.  My husband is good enough to watch the little peeps on Sundays to allow me to get more of the business side of things done and spend some good time with the torch.

So for all you moms out there, how else do you balance work and family life?