Why are my clothes not coming clean?

*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue and cheek look at my life.*

Ok, seriously, I need some help (or at least some validation).  I have a "major namebrand" high efficiency washer.  It was a replacement for a "fill 'er up with water" model.

Not my child or washer/dryer set, but I love the picture.

Here's my problem:  If I don't pretreat my clothes with detergent, the grease stains don't come out.  It doesn't matter if it's a "dab" of olive oil or the oil slicks my kids somehow get into without my knowledge.  They don't come clean.  AARGH!!!!!!!

Seriously people, I need some help.  Here's what I can tell you I've done:

• I have a water softener that is working.
• I've tried different soaps. 
• I don't overload the washer.
• Water temperature doesn't make a difference.

I'm even inclined to think it's a high efficiency washer issue since I washed a load in a friend's HE washer of a different manufacturer.  (Yes, I'm determined to figure this out.)

Advice please!!!