Thursday, May 05, 2011

Moms can never be off duty EVER

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*This is a part of the Thursday rant series, a tongue in cheek look at my life.*

Let me bring you up to speed:  I have 3 boys, all aged four and under.  It can get a little crazy here.  A big ninety-eight percent of the time, if I'm lucky enough to get ALL of them to take a nap at the same time, I get to work uniterrupted in the studio.  I'm either pouring resin, or I'm making phone calls:  both things that I don't need little people distractions for.  The exception to this is Saturdays.  Sometimes I work on Saturdays, sometimes I don't.  Mentally for me, it's my day off.  I might get caught up on my magazines, see what the DVR has recorded for me this week, or ever so infrequently,

I take a nap.

Last Saturday was one of the those days.  Two of the three peeps were already worn out.  It was a really, really nice day here -- moderate temperatures and little humidity.  It was also really, really quiet.

Yeah, let's go for it.

Peeps one and three were down.  Peep two seemed tired, but was playing with his cars.  He assured me he was going to nap too, eventually.

So, comfy jammies and a fluffly pillow was all I needed to get started.  Sometime a few minutes later, the phone rang.  My first thought, "I can't believe I forgot to take the phone off the hook."  When I didn't answer, and the caller immediately called back, my next thought was, "Sorry mom, whatever it is, it can wait."

Apparently not.

A few minutes later (not really sure of the exact time here because I was doing everything possible not to open my eyes), there is a BAM BAM BAM at the front door.  "Oh, like now what??  I just want some quiet time.  In fact I've been really bad today and need a time out."

I put on my fluffy pink robe and head to the door.  I open it and stare at the two sheriff's deputies who were wondering why I looked like I was a mom on a mid afternoon bender.

"Ma'am, are you okay?"

With one of the slow blinks (you know, the ones where you take an extra .4 milliseconds to allow you that extra time to think), I answered, "Yes....."  I'm looking past them while they're asking, expecting to see one of my neighbor's houses has exploded or is in the middle of a hostage situation.

"Ma'am, someone here called 911 and hung up."

Once again, blank stare, while I'm thinking to myself, thanks kids, I didn't really need that afternoon off.

"Ma'am are you alone?"

"No, I have 3 kids with me."

"Ma'am, did you hear the phone ring?  No one answered when we called back, TWICE."

By this time, I'm a little punchy.  "Do you answer every phone call that comes to your house??"

Whoops, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"We need to speak to the child who made the call."  Actually, this turned out to be a good thing.  Deputies in the their cars with flashing lights can be quite a motivator for a four year old to never call 911 again.

They left, last peep took a nap, and I went back to work in the studio.  That will teach me to take a day off.

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